When They Die Too Soon

A Biblical Reflection on Handling the Premature Death of a Loved One

“When Paul had finished speaking, he knelt down with all of them and prayed.They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again….” (Acts 20:36-38, NIV)

Recently, another one of my former students from Myanmar was tragically killed. Not yet 25 years old, La Seng sacrificed his life for something he believed in. He died a hero and inspiration to many. One of his closest friends, in mourning his death, told me that La Seng was a symbol of love and integrity. He showed by his life—and by his willingness to risk death—what it means to live by his faith and put love into action.

Yet, his death was deeply disturbing, too. He was way too young, and the hole he left was big. Those who knew and loved him feel devastated. To me, he was like a spiritual son. God had used our special connection to guide and encourage him at a critical point in his life. He had found peace in the direction he chose. Alongside his willingness to serve his country, he led a ministry to children and became known among his classmates and friends as someone who was exceptional conduit of God’s love and grace.

What good could possibly come out this loss and so many others like it? How are we supposed to handle it when someone like this dies too soon and leaves such a big void in our lives?

In Acts 20, the Apostle Paul doesn’t answer this question directly, but his farewell speech to the elders of the church in Ephesus (in modern day Turkey) offers many helpful insights. He called the elders to meet with him one last time on a beach a several days journey from their home. He knew that he would be arrested, abused, and unjustly killed at some point in the future, and he wanted to prepare them and say goodbye. Knowing that their hearts would be broken, he prayed for them and urged them to remember their experience with him, to live by what he taught them about Jesus, and to follow the example that he had set for them.

At one point he said, “Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.” Then later he added, “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” (Acts 20:32, 35)

The lesson from Paul’s words and example is profound. In your times of great loss and suffering, you are not alone. You are not without hope. All is not lost. Your painful experiences and heart-breaking losses don’t have to break or defeat you. God still has a purpose for your life. And Jesus shows you the way.

The death of those who die too soon may feel like a waste, but their death need not be wasted. When you lose people whom you’ve admired, respected, or loved, all that they gave to you is still within you. Nothing can remove the sting of their death, and your grief may linger for years. Yet, the memory of them can remain a source of inspiration and strength for the rest of your life. And God’s “word of grace” can minister to your broken heart and nourish and feed your soul.

You can move beyond focusing so much on the pain of your loss and turn your attention to those who are still living, those you who need from you what God has equipped you to offer. And, by God’s grace, the road filled with too many early deaths can become a pathway overflowing with life.

“And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10, NRSV).