Tag Archives: God

by | May 3, 2024 · 3:55 pm

Grieving Our Losses

…honestly, yet hopefully

[Four minute read]

Sometimes, all we have is our tears. Sometimes, only our rage.

One of my former students, now a pastor, texted me with some tragic news recently. His village had been bombed. Several were killed or injured. For many, everything they owned went up in flames. More than 200 homes now lie in ruins, including his own. As is true for some three million people throughout Myanmar, most of the people have sought shelter in an internally displaced persons (IDP) camp or have fled the country. Their village has become a ghost town.

How are they going to survive? How are they going to cope psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually? What will be the long term of effect of such trauma and loss?

I think about these questions almost daily. Serving in Myanmar, Thailand, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, has forced these concerns into my consciousness in ways I couldn’t imagine as a child, growing up in a comfortable, middle-class Midwestern town in the United States. 

I’m sure the ancient Israelites were asking themselves the same questions during their exile in Babylon (6th Century BC). They had been conquered by an invading army. They were forced from their beloved villages and country. They had lost everything that was “home” to them and were now captives in a foreign land. As far as they could see, they had no hope. No future.

How did they cope emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually? How did they grieve their great loss?

In Psalm 137, the psalmist provides a snapshot of one moment in their grief process.

“By the rivers of Babylon—there we sat down and there we wept when we remembered Zion…. O daughter Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock!” (Psalm 137: 1, 8-9, NRSV)

According to the famous psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, those who suffer significant loss typically move through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (On Death and Dying, 1969). 

  • “Denial” is when you are still in shock or just can’t get your head around what just happened or what bad news the doctor told you is going to happen. 
  • In “Anger,” you rage, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. You never dreamed that something like this would happen to you. And if someone betrayed you or let you down—whether it is yourself, someone else, or God—you might be really angry about it, and wind up lashing out with hateful or violent words to hurt whomever you blame for your loss.
  • In the “Bargaining” stage, you might obsess on how you might have prevented the tragedy. “If only I had done [this or that] ….” Or, if you’re grappling with bad news for the future, you may make desperate promises to yourself, to others, or to God. “I promise I will do better….” hoping to somehow prevent the inevitable.
  • In “Depression,” the horrible truth has finally sunk in, but it may feel like too much to bear. Your energy and drive are gone. You may be plagued with guilt, shame, or despair. You may not even want to get out of bed in the morning. 
  • Fortunately, depression need not be the final stage in grief. For most people, at some point, there comes “Acceptance.” Here, you finally accept what you cannot change in the past or something that is going to happen. You may retain an emotional tie to someone or something you have lost, but the bond you feel ceases to be debilitating. Your strength and motivation to live return. 

I don’t know for sure which stage the ancient Israelites were in when Psalm 137 was written. It’s obvious they were in a lot of pain, and they certainly weren’t at the acceptance stage. They were still weeping and raging. The psalmist was even dreaming of vengeance, comforting himself with fantasies such as dashing his enemy’s infants against rocks (137:8-9)!  

Some people are shocked or offended that such sentiments are recorded in the Bible. But I’m not. I appreciate the psalmist’s honest expression of grief, even in its ugliest stages. In low moments, that’s how I think and feel sometimes, too. But, by God’s grace, I don’t stay stuck there.

When I feel distraught or full of rage, I let myself feel my feelings. I don’t condemn myself for feeling this way, but I remind myself that seething with anger is not the final stage of grief. I don’t need to get stuck there, nor do I want to go through life being angry all the time. When I’m tempted to try to bargain with myself or God, I try to catch myself if I’m spinning in circles ruminating about the past or if I’m making promises to God that I can’t keep. I have compassion on myself, knowing I’m just trying to east my pain; but I remind myself that the sooner I let go of irrational, unhelpful thought patterns, the better.

When it come to the depression stage, sometimes, I just need to feel sad. Like my anger, sadness means that I cared a lot about whatever was (or will be) lost was (is). Yet, here, too, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling sad. Depression is not my destiny. I can choose to believe that God is present and at work in my life for good. I don’t blame God for whatever evil I’m experiencing. Rather, I reach out to God for connection, perspective, and ability to face my loss.  And when I do, the tide of painful, harsh, or crushing emotions begins to recede. God’s peace slowly fills the craters in my soul.

After Jesus’ horrific killing, followed by his astonishing resurrection, the time came for him to say goodbye to his disciples. One more loss for the disciples. Yet, listen to Jesus’s final words to them, according to the Gospel of Matthew. (28:19-20)

In short, Jesus urged his disciples to look forward, not backwards. He told them to focus on their calling, which in their case was to preach, teach, and demonstrate the truth of the Gospel. And he assured them that they would not be alone. “And surely,” Jesus promised, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20b). 

I don’t know what kind of loss you might be grieving right now, or what stage of grief you might be in. But based on my experience and the teaching of the Bible, I can assure you there’s more to your life and future than whatever you’re experiencing at the moment. It won’t always feel this awful. There will be a better day. No matter what you may have lost, you still have an important purpose in life. There’s work for you do—people who need your love and care. Other grieving or struggling wayfarers, who need a word of encouragement or simply a helping hand. Those who do not know the hope of an enduring relationship with God through Jesus.

So, grieve your own losses honestly. Be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through the various stages of grief. Yet also remain hopeful. You are not alone, and Jesus Christ has called you to share in his ministry of love in this broken world full of so much sorrow and pain.

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by | March 27, 2024 · 4:11 am

Don’t Forget to Stay Grounded

Karen refugees from Burma, living in Mae Sot, Thailand

When the winds blew and the waves crashed over their little boat on the Sea of Galilee, Jesus’ disciples panicked. Jesus was sleeping. Was he going to do anything to save them? Did he even care? In desperation, they woke him, crying out, “Lord, save us. We’re going to drown!”

But from Jesus’s perspective, there was no reason to worry. No matter how dark the sky or threatening the tempest, he knew that their lives were in God’s hands, and nothing could touch them unless God allowed it. So, he chastised his disciples, saying, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then, he rebuked the wind and the waves, and the sea became calm. And the disciples were amazed. (Matthew 8:23-27)

The disciples were not being criticized for waking Jesus up or for asking for his help. Nor is Jesus saying that you shouldn’t take threats to your health or well-being seriously. Neither is he suggesting that those who trust in God will never be harmed. You know that isn’t true. The Bible and history are full of stories of people suffering unjustly or dying prematurely from diseases or other natural and unnatural causes. Even Jesus himself was eventually crucified. But at that moment, in the midst of a raging storm, he was at peace. He trusted in God’s will for his life, and for his death. 

No, Jesus chastised the disciples because they were letting their circumstances unnerve them. They were giving too much power to their fears, forgetting that following Jesus into the boat calls for trusting God through the storm.

What about you? How are you coping with the many current threats to your well-being? Like Jesus’s disciples, sometimes all you might be able to see is the size of the waves, the strength of the wind, and all the real dangers. Sometimes it may seem like Jesus is sleeping or that God doesn’t care. But it isn’t the case. God does care, and Jesus is not sleeping.  

If you can do something reasonable to diminish the risks facing you or your family, do it. But no matter what is or isn’t within your power to do, keep returning to the Source of your life and eternal hope. God is your anchor, your rock, your strength. You need God’s working in your life not only to answer your prayers, but to enable you to experience peace amid the storm and courage to face the uncertain future. Without a solid connection to God and staying grounded in your faith, the storms may very well unnerve you and throw your life into chaos. The opposite of what you most need at such times.

Over the past two months, I had the privilege of teaching and ministering again along the border between Myanmar and Thailand. One of the things that has made a big impression on me is how much the refugees actively draw upon their faith to cope with their fears and hardships. This is true for those still struggling to survive and cope within Myanmar as it is for those who have fled to the other side of the border. Their lives may have been devastated, their future hope shattered, and family members and friends killed, but they keep going back to God for stability and strength. They frequently worship, pray, read Scripture, listen to sermons, sing, fellowship together, help one another, and participate regularly in many other such spiritual activities. It’s how they structure their lives and stay grounded in their faith. It’s how they find peace, courage, and strength despite their circumstances.

I don’t know what you might be going through today, but I do know that everything looks and feels different when I stay well connected to God and trust in God’s will for my life amid the storms.

The Psalmist put it this way, when he told himself: “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress. I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5-6, NIV).

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by | January 10, 2024 · 11:57 am

“How to Have A Happier New Year”

Happy New Year! Of course, that’s what everyone always says this time of year, and I sincerely mean well whenever I say it. I also like it when someone says it to me. But the truth is, what I really wish for you is that you would discover greater peace, joy, meaning, and love this year, no matter how happy you may feel on any given day.

In other words, I’m not satisfied with just expressing or receiving wishes for happiness. I want so much more for myself and for you. And there’s so much more that goes into finding happiness than just wishing or making resolutions. If I am going to experience more of the abundant life that Christ talked about, I’m going to need to lean into my relationship with God in a big way. And I’m going to need to make a lot of good decisions about how I think, how well I stick to my daily habits, and how I choose to respond to life’s troubles and to other people who annoy me or cause me pain.

For me, it starts with attitude. I always look forward to the start of a new year, but first, I find it very encouraging to pause long enough to count my blessings from the year just ended. Despite so much grief, frustration, and uncertainty everywhere I look, I thank God for all the good exists amid the pain and struggle. I am particularly grateful for the love of my family, a new granddaughter, many good friends, and wonderful colleagues and co-workers. I treasure the many precious Spirit-filled moments I experienced with family, friends, students, and other people that I care about. 

I can easily find many things to complain about, but I choose to name and celebrate all the love and goodness in my life amid the darkness and suffering. That’s my starting place for preparing for a happy new year.

As you look back on 2023, what do you see when you look at your experiences through the eyes of faith and gratitude? For many of you, the year has been full of tears, frustrations, and painful memories. Can you see the blessings, too? 

As I look ahead, I assume that God will continue to be active in my life in loving for good ways. I also accept that I have a part to play in securing my own happiness. But the key here where I’m going to look. As a Christian, I believe that I will find the greatest satisfaction, meaning, peace, and joy in life by living for Christ and prioritizing love of God and neighbor, as Jesus taught us. 

For me, this means asking the right questions and seeking answers that will qualitatively effect how I think and live. For example, what habits do I need to form or strengthen so that I could know, love, and serve God better from day to day? How do I need to structure my prayers, reading, and giving so that I could better support and strengthen my brothers and sisters in Christ? What disciplines do I need to put into place so that I will “not be overcome by evil” so easily, but will be better able to “overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:21)? What changes do I need to make in my calendar, my attitudes, and my interactions, so that I will keep growing as a person, husband, father, grandfather, boss, co-worker, mentor, and friend? Above all, what spiritual practices will help me to keep my eyes on Jesus and to keep listening for the “still, small voice” of the Holy Spirit in every aspect of my life, every day?

What are your hopes, intentions, and prayers for 2024? What is your part in pursuing and securing your own happiness?

No matter what may happen (or not happen), may God work in your life in ways that you can perceive and appreciate. May you get clear about your role in seeking and securing your own happiness. May you see that what you most want and need is God, and that your inner peace and joy depend upon your relationship with Jesus Christ and on staying firmly in the sacred love flow—God’s love to you and for you, and God’s love flowing through you to others.Though we often cannot understand the ways of God, we have the promise in Scripture that God does indeed work all things together “for good for those who love him and are called according to his purposes” (Romans 8:28). Though sometimes we cannot see any good coming from our suffering or the evil deeds of others, this promise reminds us that we’re not alone amidst our struggles and suffering. For me, the thought that God is present and active in my life for good motivates me to order my life, thoughts, and priorities in the best possible ways. And to stay positive and keep going.

May you find the peace, joy, meaning, and strength you are looking for in 2024 by loving God and devoting yourself to serving his good and loving purposes. This is Christ’s pathway to the life you were called to. And this is what I mean when I wish you Happy New Year.

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by | December 23, 2023 · 5:51 am

“What’s worth celebrating this Christmas?”

The angel announcing Good News to the shepherds (Chartres Cathedral, Chartres, France)

“In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah (Christ), the Lord.”

Luke 2:8-11 (NRSV)

Every year at Christmas time, these beloved verses from the Bible are read in some 37 million churches and in countless Christian homes all over the world. They concisely express why Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus year after year and why he is the focal point of their faith. In fact, the Greek verb, euangelizomai, which is translated, “bring good news” in verse 10 is a cognate of the Greek noun, euangelion, which is usually translated “Gospel” (literally, “good news”). In other words, the good news of the Christian Gospel, which has been preached and throughout the world over the past 2000 years, has its roots in the angel’s “good news of great joy for all the people,” the birth of Jesus.

Yet, as I sit in the comfort of my relatively safe and secure home in Minnesota, surrounded by all the privilege and material abundance of the American context, I can’t help but wonder how these verses sound to the millions of people in my own country and elsewhere around the world who must suffer daily from hunger, deprivation, or violence. I’m thinking about those who are abandoned, neglected, alienated, or simply alone without loved ones and friends at Christmas time. I’m imagining what it must be like for the 100 million internally displaced people and refugees who live in war-torn countries such as Ukraine, Myanmar (Burma), the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Gaza, Sudan, Syria, and other such places, some of whom have been or are my students. Amid such terrifying, unstable, or oppressive conditions, is there any “good news of great joy” for them? Is this Gospel message really for “all people” or only for those fortunate enough to live in peace, abundance, and security?

To answer these important questions, we have to get back to what the angel meant by “good news of great joy” and to what we can learn by observing the response of the shepherds to this good news.

In context, according to the Jewish writers of the New Testament, Jesus’s birth was the supreme moment in history when God fulfilled his promise to send a Savior to a troubled world. However, he didn’t arrive as a king, a political mastermind, a great warrior, or super-hero. Jesus identified with the most disadvantaged and beleaguered people in the world by living in poverty and suffering unjustly. Jesus was “God-with-us” (Immanuel), who experienced the same pain of discrimination, oppression, and mistreatment that afflict so many around the world.

Amid such difficult circumstance, Jesus lived with integrity, courage, faith, and compassion despite how he was mistreated and the obstacles he had to overcome. Even though he was forced to die a hideous and cruel death, he did not shrink back from his faith or devotion to God the Father. Evil-doers could and did take his life, but they couldn’t touch his soul. They could nail him to a cross, but they couldn’t keep him from changing the course of history and giving hope to billions of people globally.

In other words, Jesus’s birth was good news of great joy for all people because of what it signified about God’s faithfulness and what it announced about God’s intentions to provide a way of salvation through Jesus, despite our circumstances. 

  • By God’s incarnation in the form of Jesus Christ, God became one of us, identified with the suffering of humanity, and showed us the way forward.
  • By Jesus’s teaching, we understand that the most important thing in life is to seek to know, love, and serve God with all our beings and to love our neighbors as ourselves. 
  • By Jesus’s death, he demonstrated the extent of God’s love for us and invited us to share in his life and love through faith and obedience.
  • By Jesus’s resurrection, God proved that there is life after death and thus hope for all those who follow Jesus.

The overall message of Jesus’ life, teaching, death, and resurrection is clear: We need not be crushed by distressing circumstances and suffering. Even the most tragic life can be so much more than the sum of the injustice, misfortune, and suffering that we may have to endure. We can choose how we are going to be in the world and how we are going to respond to our troubles. By keeping our eyes on Jesus, we can face our adversity with greater strength and courage. And when we reach our limits, and even stumble and fall, Jesus is there to show us the way to get back on our feet again. And when we cannot even get back on our feet again, Jesus does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He saves us. 

I don’t know how much of all this the lowly shepherds would have understood when the angel announced good news of great joy that first night in the fields. But they didn’t need to understand it all at once. They simply needed to believe that God did in fact have good news for them of great joy. And they needed to start looking for Jesus. 

This Christmas, I cannot guarantee for myself or anyone else that the day will be merry or that the year ahead will be better than the year just finishing. However, because of the birth of Jesus, we have a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Despite our circumstances, there is always good news of great joy worth celebrating. 

Sculpture of worshipping shepherds (Chartres Cathedral)

*Photo credit for two images: ©Jill K.H. Geoffrion https://jillgeoffrion.com/

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by | December 25, 2022 · 4:58 am

What Makes Jesus So Special?

A Christmas Meditation

As most people know, Jesus was born in a stable, a lowly place fit for animals, not humans (Luke 2:1-7). He grew up poor, without privilege or comfort. His family and all the Jewish people lived in a land occupied by Roman soldiers, who could be heartless, cruel, and brutal at times. At one point, they even had to flee to Egypt to save Jesus’s life, when one of the Jewish collaborators, King Herod, sought to kill all the Jewish children two years old and under (Matt. 2:16-20). Yet, this poor, underprivileged, at-risk Jewish boy, whose birth we celebrate on Christmas day, rose to become the Savior of the world for all those who put their faith in him.

“In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.”

Luke 2:8-12 (NRSV)

It’s truly an amazing turn of events. As author Fulton Oursler put it years ago, Jesus’s life is the greatest story ever told. His poverty wasn’t bad karma. And his rise wasn’t good luck. Jesus’s birth, life, death, and resurrection were all one big demonstration of the incredible love and power of God to save the world. Jesus’s story, his teaching, and the Gospel he preached shouted out, “God sees you in your pain, suffering, and struggle! No matter how poor, disadvantaged, or marginalized you might be, God loves you. Repent of your sins and put your faith in God’s son, Jesus, and you will know the full measure of God’s grace and forgiveness.” (John 3:16; Luke 24:47) And once you enter into this new relationship with God through faith in Jesus, nothing will ever be able to separate you from God’s love, in this life or the next. (Romans 8:31-39)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 3:16-17 (NRSV)

This is the true meaning of Christmas. It’s not about power, privilege, material possessions, glitter, or parties. It’s not something just for a few ethnic minority groups or people in the West. It’s about Jesus. And it’s about what Jesus did for the whole world by giving hope to even the most hopeless people in the most hopeless of circumstances.

As such, Christmas is rightly a time of great celebration. It’s a wonderful time to eat special foods, give and receive gifts, laugh and enjoy the love and friendship of those we hold most dear. But Christians do not party at Christmas time to forget their troubles, or look for life in material things, food, and drink, as some may be doing over the holidays. No, followers of Jesus celebrate joyfully because he has given us something precious that no one can take away from us. Through faith, believers have entered into a loving, grace-filled, hopeful relationship with God that will last for eternity.

This is what makes Jesus and Christmas so special for me. I hope this is true for you, too. It can be, if you will put your faith in God’s love and in Jesus for yourself.

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by | October 22, 2022 · 3:54 am

Coping Better with Unwanted Change: Four Steps to Greater Peace and Joy (Conclusion)

Conclusion

The four-step restorative process that we have been discussing in successive weeks—See, Accept, Appreciate, and Delight—is simple in theory, but often takes a fair amount of work and patience to move through all the steps fruitfully. Are you seeing progress? If not, go back to the earlier steps, and spend more time thinking, praying, and processing until you feel ready to move forward to the next step.

No matter how much you may still be struggling with one or more steps, the way forward will surely include thinking positively, prayer, and applying your faith in concrete ways. Paul’s teaching to the Philippians speaks directly to this spiritual truth.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice….

Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving,

make your requests known to God.

And the God of peace will fill your hearts and minds

with the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable

—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me,

or seen in me—put it into practice.

And the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:4, 6-9, NIV

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, he was in in prison for his faith, facing the possibility of execution. Yet, amazingly, he was able to be at peace and find joy in the midst of his suffering. He accepted his difficult circumstances and appreciated the opportunities they gave him to serve Christ and the Gospel ministry. He gave his heart to those in whom he delighted, and he laser-focused his mind on all the good and beauty he could see and perceive in the world and in others.

Such positive thinking and faith will not spare any of us from loss, unfair treatment, and suffering. You will struggle with many painful things throughout your life, just as I do every day. Yet, when I focus on what I’ve lost or can’t have or do, I get grumpy or depressed. When I focus on trying to please myself, I may feel happier for a while, but the feeling doesn’t last or doesn’t satisfy. However, when I delight in my relationship with God, in loving my family, friends, and neighbors, in thinking more about what I could give than what I could get, and in all the beauty and goodness in this amazing world, my life is often delight-full. And peace and joy are frequent companions.

In Practice

What step are you ready to take next? See? Accept? Appreciate? Or, Delight?

Find a quiet place where you can sit and breathe deeply for a few minutes. Detach yourself from whatever emotional turmoil you might be feeling and quietly observe yourself. Then, depending on where you are in the restorative process, choose one or more of the following steps to take.

Step 1: Name the unwanted change or loss in your life that is troubling you. Ask God for help by praying, “Loving God, please help me to see what I need to see. Give me courage to face the truth, and wisdom and strength to act on whatever you reveal.” Then, when you feel ready, tell yourself, “I can face this. I will face this. I want to be able to go on with my life.”

Step 2: When you can clearly see the troubling turn of events that you cannot change, take a deep breath, exhale loudly, saying, “The truth[CK2]  is clear. This is the way things are now. It’s not what I wanted, but I can accept it.” Repeat these sentences until you can express them with conviction and power in your voice.

Step 3: When you feel that you’ve let go of most of the emotional charge you’ve been carrying, turn your attention to your blessings and opportunities. Say aloud, “There’s more to my life than what I lost. I’m ready to start counting my blessings and looking for the opportunities that God may give me. I’m ready to move forward with my life.” The first few times you try to say these words, you may choke up or break down in tears. If moving on were easy, you would have done it a long time ago. Don’t give up. Keep saying these words until you believe them and feel your energy start to shift.

Step 4: Give yourself permission to enjoy your life again. Pray, “Loving Creator, please help me to delight in you more than in anyone or anything else. Please enable me to love what you love, to enjoy what you have given me to enjoy and to do, and to order my life by what you most desire.” Then, make a date with yourself. Perhaps it’s as simple as taking a day off or spending time in the garden. Maybe it’s sitting at the piano, singing a song, holding a baby, playing a game, or going for a walk. It’s time to laugh and love.

Bottom Line: Think positively and keep your eyes on your Creator and on Jesus. In life, there will always be so much that you cannot control, and so much suffering that you cannot avoid, but the more you focus your mind on and open your heart to whatever is good, beautiful, admirable, and life-giving, the better. The more you put your anxieties and grief in God’s hands, the sooner you will know the peace that surpasses understanding and the joy your heart longs for.

Suggested Prayer

“Loving God, I want to experience greater peace and joy, and I want to be the kind of person who brings more peace, joy, and love into the lives of others. Please draw me closer to you and lead me out of all those places where I feel stuck emotionally. Help me to see, accept, appreciate, and delight more and more in you and all the good you have for me to experience and to do. Thank you. In Christ’s name, I pray. Amen.”

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by | October 2, 2022 · 7:00 pm

Coping Better with Unwanted Change: Four Steps to Greater Peace and Joy (Step 4)

We’ve been talking about a four-step restorative process to help you cope better with unwanted change or loss in your life. Once you can see and accept what you’ve lost or cannot change (Steps 1-2) and have started to appreciate your remaining blessings and opportunities (Step 3), you will experience more peace and joy. But there’s still another step.

Hiking through the Swiss Alps

Step 4: “Delight”

Trust in the LORD and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Take delight in the LORD,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:3-4 (NIV)

What do you take delight in? What are the desires of your heart?

For me, I love my birthday, which I just celebrated last week. As usual, I took the day off from work to do whatever I felt like doing, all day long. I went out for breakfast, spent hours interacting with well-wishers on Facebook, reflected on my life and future, read something I was very interested in, celebrated with my family, and, of course, ate ice cream!

But birthday delights, holidays, Friday night dates, lazy Sunday afternoons, and other special times are the spice of life for me, not the main course. In the right measure, the little (or big) treats in life bring me a lot of joy. Too much of them, and they lose their specialness. If I try to take too much from them, they can become like idols—alluring and wonderfully distracting from weights and responsibilities, but lacking sufficient nutrition for my psychological, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. If my delights become addictions, they become my masters and can even slowly destroy my life or the lives of others.

From Scripture, we learn that God gave us many wonderful things in nature, in our beloved relationships, in our vocations, and in many other aspects of our lives. They are God’s gifts to us, and key ingredients to living fully and joyfully. God wants us to delight in them, providing that our greatest love is for our Creator God. If we keep this relationship first in our hearts, then then rest of our desires, delights, and loves will fall into their proper places, in the right proportions.

When I was teenager, I thought that these verses in Psalm 37 meant that if you put God first in your life (“delight in the LORD”), then God would give you whatever you most want (“the desires of your heart”)—perhaps a lovely spouse, riches, property, good friends, fun experiences, etc. etc. But one day it dawned on me that there may be a more profound way to view this promise. Instead of interpreting these verses as describing something transactional (if you do this, then God will do that), the process may actually be transformational (if you do this, then your heart and mind will be changed, leading to an entirely new set of desired outcomes).

When the Psalmist says, “delight in the LORD,” he is not talking about saying or doing something just to try to win God’s favor to get something from God. Rather, he’s saying, genuinely take pleasure in your relationship with God, just as Jesus taught us to do when he said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:37). Then, the more your heart’s desire is genuinely to know, love, and serve God with all your being, the more you will want what God wants for you, i.e., to live righteously (or justly) and to do good, or in Jesus’ words, to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:38). Delighting in your Creator God leads to delighting in fulfilling God’s good purposes for your life. And when you think and feel this way, the greatest joy and privilege God could ever give you would be to enable you to know, love, and serve God even better, and to receive more opportunities to let God love others through you.

For me, delighting in God includes taking time to appreciate all that God has done in creation and in my life. As a minister and professor, it also translates to spending most days happily teaching, researching, writing, coaching, praying for or with others, mentoring, and trying to help or encourage those who cross my path. As a married man with children, delighting in God and God’s calling on my life also means loving my wife and family as best I can.

I’m deeply grateful for the life that God has given me and for the ways Christ has inspired and called me to worship, serve, and love. Even with all the suffering, loss, and difficulties I and my family have had to endure over the years, putting God and Christ at the center of my heart and priorities has given me great meaning, purpose, peace, and joy, which I could not have found in the same way otherwise.

For you, delighting in God first may look different than it does for me, because you have your own relationship with God and Christ, and unique calling. But the spiritual principle is true for all those who can accept it, and the result of ordering your life in this way (greater peace and joy) will be the same: When you choose to delight in God and let God transform your heart’s desires to match God’s desires, God will surely give you the desires of your heart.

In Practice

By now, you should be experiencing the fruit of working through the first three steps: See, Accept, and Appreciate. But don’t stop there. Make a conscious decision to move toward finding and doing more things that delight you. And start with God.

If you’re ready to take the fourth step, reflect on the following questions.

  • Where are you looking for pleasure, peace, and joy from day to day?
  • How well does what you delight in line up with what God wants you to delight in?
  • What would it look like for you if you delighted more in God and God’s good purposes for your life?
  • If your heart’s desire matched God’s desire for you more closely, how would you order your life differently? What would you be praying for?

Bottom line: You can make a lot of progress toward greater peace and joy in your life by seeing, accepting, and appreciating. But the most important step of them all is Step 4: “Delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Suggested prayer: “Loving God, I want what you want for me and my life. Please teach me to delight in you, and transform the desires of my heart to match yours.”

Next week: The conclusion to this series of articles with more practical suggestions for how to move through the four steps to greater peace and joy in your life

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by | September 11, 2022 · 8:15 pm

Coping Better with Unwanted Change: Four Steps to Greater Peace and Joy (Step 1)

What unwanted change is wreaking havoc in your life right now? Maybe it’s a significant loss—you were fired, someone you loved died or left you, or you’re grappling with an unexpected financial setback or liability. Maybe you received a frightening diagnosis, or you are struggling with an ongoing illness or disability. Maybe it’s an upsetting situation (or person) that you can’t avoid, such as an unreasonable boss, a troublesome neighbor, or a forced move and undesirable change of location. Whatever it may be, how are you handling it?

I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of person. I believe in the power of positive thinking. Yet, how can you be upbeat when your life suddenly changes dramatically for the worse? How can you get past all the inner turmoil when you’ve lost so much or continually have to deal with a person or situation that you hate but can’t get away from?   

In this multi-part series, I’m going to share four steps that have been very helpful to me when I have felt heart-broken, frustrated, disappointed, sorry for myself, or any number of other negative emotions due to some unwanted change, circumstance, or person in my life. These insights first came to me many years ago when wrestling with painful relational issues when my family and I walked across northern Spain on the Camino in 2006. Over time, I’ve come to see that the same “4 Steps to Loving A Hard to Love Person” (See, Accept, Appreciate, and Delight) also provide a pathway to coping better with any unwanted change in my life. These steps may take a great deal of time to work through, but when taken thoughtfully and prayerfully, they have proven very helpful in getting unstuck mentally and emotionally in a wide variety of difficult situations. In this post, we’ll look at just the first step in this process.

Step 1: “See”

By the rivers of Babylon—

there we sat down and there we wept

when we remembered Zion.

Psalm 137:1 (NRSV)

When ancient Israel suddenly found themselves as captives in Babylon in 586 BC, they had to grapple with incredible losses—the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem (Zion), their forced exile from their home country, and the collapse of their lives as they knew them. We can’t go back to reconstruct all the ways they handled this tragedy, but can infer from the text that, instead of putting their heads in the sand (e.g., by believing false prophets who tried to give them false hope of returning to Judah), the exiles saw the situation for what it was, faced the awful truth, and let themselves feel the emotional weight of their losses. “By the rivers of Babylon—there we sat down and there we wept….” Such grief was bitter, but it was also an important step toward moving forward.

However, for many of us, when we experience great loss or are suddenly forced to cope with frightening or overwhelming burdens, instead of facing the truth as the Israelites did, we get stuck in nonproductive, emotional turmoil. We may walk around in a daze or even in denial of what’s happened, or our fight-flight-freeze instincts may trigger an intense emotional response that either ties us up in knots on the inside or pushes us to act in unhelpful or even hurtful ways.

That’s what was happening to me for much of 2021. After 13 years of (in-person) teaching in Myanmar, the doors suddenly slammed shut in my face, when the military seized power in a coup-d’état on February 1. My school suspended all classes, the country began its ongoing slide into disarray, and it became no longer safe for me to return. Then there was the daily trauma from continual reports of imprisonment, beatings, or killing of protestors, doctors, journalists, political opponents of the regime, and even some of my students. Houses were burned to the ground and hundreds of thousands fled to the jungles to survive.

All this felt overwhelming and too difficult to fully face. For months, I felt almost panicky about my powerlessness to help them. I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing more, yet I could never identify what I could do differently. And so, instead of coming to grips with reality, I lived in a perpetual state of anxiety on their behalf, as if sharing their distress and desperation would somehow prove that I wasn’t abandoning them in their hour of need. The truth was, I was so caught up in my unexamined, emotional reaction that I couldn’t realistically assess the situation. I was stuck in my emotional turmoil, carrying a burden that wasn’t helpful to me or anyone else.

In practice

How about you? Where are you being held prisoner by your emotional reactions? What do you need to see more clearly about whatever you’re grappling with?

  • What did you lose or what burden has been placed on your shoulders that you did not choose and do not want?
  • What is the clearest, most accurate, description of what happened or is happening?
  • If you could name it, in a word or two, what would you call what happened to you?
  • How is this [unwanted situation] affecting you emotionally, physically, relationally, and spiritually?
  • What is your best realistic assessment of the implications of this change for your future?

Even if it takes more time than you’d like to be able to answer these questions clearly, don’t give up until you get enough emotional distance to accurately assess your situation. Be patient with yourself, but don’t give up. The goal is to be able to make good decisions about your future based on the truth instead of being held prisoner to your emotional reactions or a distorted picture of reality.

Here is one short prayer that I created many years ago continues to be helpful to me whenever I’m in emotional turmoil and can’t seem to see clearly. Perhaps it will help you, too.

“Loving God, please help me to see whatever I need to see. Give me courage to face the truth, and wisdom and strength to act on whatever you reveal.”

Next week, Step 2: “Accept,” the next critical step toward recovering your inner peace and joy.

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by | July 6, 2022 · 3:53 pm

Look Up for Hope

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

from where will my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

The LORD will not let your foot be moved…

The LORD will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in

from this time on and forevermore.

From Psalm 121

These are amazing words of inspiration and hope, but are they true? What does such faith mean for those who are traumatized and brutalized by others, such as the people of Myanmar, where thousands of people have had to flee for their lives into the jungle since the political upheaval began in 2021? How does the psalmist’s confidence apply to those whose homes have been burned to the ground? What sense do these assurances make to the families of those who have been beaten, tortured, or killed?

For years I struggled with such broad promises of the LORD’s protection and help in the face of so much exploitation and abuse of the vulnerable around the world. To trust in God’s deliverance sometimes seems ridiculous when so many suffer and die at the hands of evil doers. I’ve heard many testimonies of people who have experienced God’s miraculous help, yet other people of faith are never rescued by God.

At the same time, in spite of gut-wrenching experiences and unanswered questions, my faith in God has been indispensable and life-giving to me. God’s unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness have provided a powerful source of self-acceptance and daily hope. Jesus Christ’s resurrection gives me hope that someday there will be justice, if not in this life then in the next. God’s presence in my life motivates me to become the kind of man God wants me to be for my family and for my community. My experience of God’s love and grace fills me with more compassion and mercy for those who are weak and vulnerable, people who need to experience the light of Jesus Christ and the love of God through a fellow human being. Even though I can’t fully understand why God allows so many to suffer so horribly, I am deeply grateful for all that God has done in my life and in the lives of so many other people who have similarly reached out to God and put their faith In Jesus.

So how should we interpret assurances of God’s help and deliverance like we find in Psalm 121? Was every Israelite saved from evil, as the Psalmist declared? Certainly not. But the Hebrew writer was not a fool. He knew that even those with great faith in the LORD sometimes fall victim to evil and injustice. Everyone suffers in some way, and some day, each of us will die, no matter how many times we might be saved from a premature demise.

Yet, the psalmist is not offering words that are out of touch with reality, but ones that offer hope in the midst of our suffering. He provides guidance not so that we can live in denial or flee into fantasy, but so that we might find spiritual resources to face and cope with whatever is overwhelming us. He speaks in hyperbole and metaphor to inspire the people to lift their eyes from focusing on their troubles so that they might see what God sees and reach out for what only God can provide.

I cannot prove to you that God cares, and I cannot make sense of the gross disparities in the world and all the senseless violence and heart-breaking tragedies. Yet, I do know that hope and strength do not come from denial, fear or faithlessness. We will not be stronger or better by allowing ourselves to be swallowed up by cynicism, hatred, or vengefulness. If we focus on evil, we will be consumed by it.

If, instead, we focus on God, we will find the perspective and strength we need to face and overcome it. If you let go of questions about the prevalence of evil that no one can answer, and if you drop your resistance to that inner voice that is calling you to put your faith in your Creator and in Jesus Christ, you will find relief, acceptance, forgiveness, inner peace, and hope as never before. This kind of hope cannot be extinguished even in death. And the love that comes from God is more valuable, enduring, and powerful than anything else in all creation, for it is not based on your own accomplishment or worthiness, but on the character and power of God.

So, brothers and sisters in Christ, lift your eyes to gaze on the beauty and majesty of creation and of your Creator. “The LORD who made heaven and earth” has done amazing things in nature and for people of faith from the beginning of time. Lift your eyes to Jesus Christ to contemplate God’s character and intention to save you from yourself and from all those forces within you and in the world that you cannot overcome in your own strength, including death itself. Choose to trust that your Creator loves you and is active in your life for good. Lift your eyes up to your Redeemer–not necessarily to rescue you from all your troubles, but to provide strength to keep your head high, to follow Jesus Christ confidently, to serve God’s purposes faithfully, and to continue to reflect God’s light and love in the midst of so much darkness, hatred, and evil.

He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.  Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? …

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:32-39, NRSV

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by | March 15, 2022 · 2:15 pm

No Easy Answers in a War Zone

Only Faith, Hope, and Love

HEAL Africa Doctors meeting for Bible Study in war-torn Eastern Congo

How can you answer troubling questions about God that have no easy answers? How can you talk about God’s love to traumatized people in a war zone, when God seems so distant and disengaged from their suffering? During my weekly Bible study that I conduct for a group of 20-30 doctors (pictured below) in Goma, Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), I’m often asked, “What should we say to our patients, whose family, friends, or neighbors have been driven from their homes or brutally murdered?” In Eastern Congo, some six million people have died due to violence, starvation, and disease over the past 25 years. Their nightmare has raised earnest questions about God that are difficult to answer, such as, “Does God care?” and “Why didn’t God protect us?”  

Meanwhile, in Europe, Russian troops are wreaking havoc across Ukraine, thousands are being injured or killed, and over three million people have been forced to flee the country in a matter of a few weeks so far. In Asia, as you well know, the crisis in Myanmar continues unabated and the suffering keeps multiplying. Everywhere there is great suffering from injustice and violence, the same kinds of questions keep arising among Christians. Even my Burmeses theological students want to know, “Are we suffering because God is punishing us?” “Is God ignoring us?” “Should we expect any help from God?”

Homes burn Loikaw Township, Kayah State, Myanmar, following Junta airstrikes, 2_23_22 PC_Free Burma Rangers

In my role as seminary professor and Bible teacher in Africa, Eastern Europe, and Southeast Asia over the past 15 years, I’ve been asked these kinds of questions repeatedly by people who are being traumatized by genocide, war, or oppression. However, rather than try to make up answers to unanswerable questions or offer up false hope, it’s been far more helpful to admit the limitations of human understanding about God and to focus practically and realistically on how we know that God works in the midst of great evil.

As I have struggled with my own understanding of what to expect from God, I have longed ceased to put my hope in God’s sudden appearance out of nowhere to save the people. I’d be delighted for any miraculous intervention God may choose to make, and I pray for God’s help and deliverance daily. But most of my hope rests on how God works in, among, and through those who know, love, and serve Jesus Christ.

I have never had a vision of Jesus, but I see Jesus in his body of believers all the time—in their compassionate acts of kindness, self-sacrificial service, hospitality, and generosity. They are riddled with all sorts of imperfections and failings, yet they treasure their relationship with God. They keep drawing from the well of God’s love and grace for light and life in the midst of their darkness. They love Jesus, and they genuinely want to share Jesus’ love with others. And do so, sometimes even at great personal cost.

It’s been inspiring to me to see the outpouring of support for those who are suffering in all the places where I serve— including, Ukraine, Myanmar, and the Congo—both from faithful followers of Christ within the countries and from a wide variety of caring people internationally. This is surely part of God’s plan to minister to those who call upon the name of the Lord in their distress.

There are no easy answers to the cries and confusion of people in a war zone. Nevertheless, when we, as the body of Christ, fulfill our purpose to be the heart, voice, hands, and feet of Jesus, the world will know that there is a God who cares. The power, presence, and love of God will be evident for others to experience through us. And we who serve in Jesus’ name will be less overwhelmed by the evil all around us, because our eyes will be focused more on what we can do and less on what we can’t; on what God is doing through us, and not on just on what we hope and pray that God will do for us.  

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

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