Tag Archives: spirituality

by | May 3, 2024 · 3:55 pm

Grieving Our Losses

…honestly, yet hopefully

[Four minute read]

Sometimes, all we have is our tears. Sometimes, only our rage.

One of my former students, now a pastor, texted me with some tragic news recently. His village had been bombed. Several were killed or injured. For many, everything they owned went up in flames. More than 200 homes now lie in ruins, including his own. As is true for some three million people throughout Myanmar, most of the people have sought shelter in an internally displaced persons (IDP) camp or have fled the country. Their village has become a ghost town.

How are they going to survive? How are they going to cope psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually? What will be the long term of effect of such trauma and loss?

I think about these questions almost daily. Serving in Myanmar, Thailand, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, has forced these concerns into my consciousness in ways I couldn’t imagine as a child, growing up in a comfortable, middle-class Midwestern town in the United States. 

I’m sure the ancient Israelites were asking themselves the same questions during their exile in Babylon (6th Century BC). They had been conquered by an invading army. They were forced from their beloved villages and country. They had lost everything that was “home” to them and were now captives in a foreign land. As far as they could see, they had no hope. No future.

How did they cope emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually? How did they grieve their great loss?

In Psalm 137, the psalmist provides a snapshot of one moment in their grief process.

“By the rivers of Babylon—there we sat down and there we wept when we remembered Zion…. O daughter Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock!” (Psalm 137: 1, 8-9, NRSV)

According to the famous psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, those who suffer significant loss typically move through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (On Death and Dying, 1969). 

  • “Denial” is when you are still in shock or just can’t get your head around what just happened or what bad news the doctor told you is going to happen. 
  • In “Anger,” you rage, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. You never dreamed that something like this would happen to you. And if someone betrayed you or let you down—whether it is yourself, someone else, or God—you might be really angry about it, and wind up lashing out with hateful or violent words to hurt whomever you blame for your loss.
  • In the “Bargaining” stage, you might obsess on how you might have prevented the tragedy. “If only I had done [this or that] ….” Or, if you’re grappling with bad news for the future, you may make desperate promises to yourself, to others, or to God. “I promise I will do better….” hoping to somehow prevent the inevitable.
  • In “Depression,” the horrible truth has finally sunk in, but it may feel like too much to bear. Your energy and drive are gone. You may be plagued with guilt, shame, or despair. You may not even want to get out of bed in the morning. 
  • Fortunately, depression need not be the final stage in grief. For most people, at some point, there comes “Acceptance.” Here, you finally accept what you cannot change in the past or something that is going to happen. You may retain an emotional tie to someone or something you have lost, but the bond you feel ceases to be debilitating. Your strength and motivation to live return. 

I don’t know for sure which stage the ancient Israelites were in when Psalm 137 was written. It’s obvious they were in a lot of pain, and they certainly weren’t at the acceptance stage. They were still weeping and raging. The psalmist was even dreaming of vengeance, comforting himself with fantasies such as dashing his enemy’s infants against rocks (137:8-9)!  

Some people are shocked or offended that such sentiments are recorded in the Bible. But I’m not. I appreciate the psalmist’s honest expression of grief, even in its ugliest stages. In low moments, that’s how I think and feel sometimes, too. But, by God’s grace, I don’t stay stuck there.

When I feel distraught or full of rage, I let myself feel my feelings. I don’t condemn myself for feeling this way, but I remind myself that seething with anger is not the final stage of grief. I don’t need to get stuck there, nor do I want to go through life being angry all the time. When I’m tempted to try to bargain with myself or God, I try to catch myself if I’m spinning in circles ruminating about the past or if I’m making promises to God that I can’t keep. I have compassion on myself, knowing I’m just trying to east my pain; but I remind myself that the sooner I let go of irrational, unhelpful thought patterns, the better.

When it come to the depression stage, sometimes, I just need to feel sad. Like my anger, sadness means that I cared a lot about whatever was (or will be) lost was (is). Yet, here, too, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling sad. Depression is not my destiny. I can choose to believe that God is present and at work in my life for good. I don’t blame God for whatever evil I’m experiencing. Rather, I reach out to God for connection, perspective, and ability to face my loss.  And when I do, the tide of painful, harsh, or crushing emotions begins to recede. God’s peace slowly fills the craters in my soul.

After Jesus’ horrific killing, followed by his astonishing resurrection, the time came for him to say goodbye to his disciples. One more loss for the disciples. Yet, listen to Jesus’s final words to them, according to the Gospel of Matthew. (28:19-20)

In short, Jesus urged his disciples to look forward, not backwards. He told them to focus on their calling, which in their case was to preach, teach, and demonstrate the truth of the Gospel. And he assured them that they would not be alone. “And surely,” Jesus promised, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20b). 

I don’t know what kind of loss you might be grieving right now, or what stage of grief you might be in. But based on my experience and the teaching of the Bible, I can assure you there’s more to your life and future than whatever you’re experiencing at the moment. It won’t always feel this awful. There will be a better day. No matter what you may have lost, you still have an important purpose in life. There’s work for you do—people who need your love and care. Other grieving or struggling wayfarers, who need a word of encouragement or simply a helping hand. Those who do not know the hope of an enduring relationship with God through Jesus.

So, grieve your own losses honestly. Be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through the various stages of grief. Yet also remain hopeful. You are not alone, and Jesus Christ has called you to share in his ministry of love in this broken world full of so much sorrow and pain.

Leave a comment

Filed under Hope

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

by | March 27, 2024 · 4:11 am

Don’t Forget to Stay Grounded

Karen refugees from Burma, living in Mae Sot, Thailand

When the winds blew and the waves crashed over their little boat on the Sea of Galilee, Jesus’ disciples panicked. Jesus was sleeping. Was he going to do anything to save them? Did he even care? In desperation, they woke him, crying out, “Lord, save us. We’re going to drown!”

But from Jesus’s perspective, there was no reason to worry. No matter how dark the sky or threatening the tempest, he knew that their lives were in God’s hands, and nothing could touch them unless God allowed it. So, he chastised his disciples, saying, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then, he rebuked the wind and the waves, and the sea became calm. And the disciples were amazed. (Matthew 8:23-27)

The disciples were not being criticized for waking Jesus up or for asking for his help. Nor is Jesus saying that you shouldn’t take threats to your health or well-being seriously. Neither is he suggesting that those who trust in God will never be harmed. You know that isn’t true. The Bible and history are full of stories of people suffering unjustly or dying prematurely from diseases or other natural and unnatural causes. Even Jesus himself was eventually crucified. But at that moment, in the midst of a raging storm, he was at peace. He trusted in God’s will for his life, and for his death. 

No, Jesus chastised the disciples because they were letting their circumstances unnerve them. They were giving too much power to their fears, forgetting that following Jesus into the boat calls for trusting God through the storm.

What about you? How are you coping with the many current threats to your well-being? Like Jesus’s disciples, sometimes all you might be able to see is the size of the waves, the strength of the wind, and all the real dangers. Sometimes it may seem like Jesus is sleeping or that God doesn’t care. But it isn’t the case. God does care, and Jesus is not sleeping.  

If you can do something reasonable to diminish the risks facing you or your family, do it. But no matter what is or isn’t within your power to do, keep returning to the Source of your life and eternal hope. God is your anchor, your rock, your strength. You need God’s working in your life not only to answer your prayers, but to enable you to experience peace amid the storm and courage to face the uncertain future. Without a solid connection to God and staying grounded in your faith, the storms may very well unnerve you and throw your life into chaos. The opposite of what you most need at such times.

Over the past two months, I had the privilege of teaching and ministering again along the border between Myanmar and Thailand. One of the things that has made a big impression on me is how much the refugees actively draw upon their faith to cope with their fears and hardships. This is true for those still struggling to survive and cope within Myanmar as it is for those who have fled to the other side of the border. Their lives may have been devastated, their future hope shattered, and family members and friends killed, but they keep going back to God for stability and strength. They frequently worship, pray, read Scripture, listen to sermons, sing, fellowship together, help one another, and participate regularly in many other such spiritual activities. It’s how they structure their lives and stay grounded in their faith. It’s how they find peace, courage, and strength despite their circumstances.

I don’t know what you might be going through today, but I do know that everything looks and feels different when I stay well connected to God and trust in God’s will for my life amid the storms.

The Psalmist put it this way, when he told himself: “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress. I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5-6, NIV).

5 Comments

Filed under Faith

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

by | January 10, 2024 · 11:57 am

“How to Have A Happier New Year”

Happy New Year! Of course, that’s what everyone always says this time of year, and I sincerely mean well whenever I say it. I also like it when someone says it to me. But the truth is, what I really wish for you is that you would discover greater peace, joy, meaning, and love this year, no matter how happy you may feel on any given day.

In other words, I’m not satisfied with just expressing or receiving wishes for happiness. I want so much more for myself and for you. And there’s so much more that goes into finding happiness than just wishing or making resolutions. If I am going to experience more of the abundant life that Christ talked about, I’m going to need to lean into my relationship with God in a big way. And I’m going to need to make a lot of good decisions about how I think, how well I stick to my daily habits, and how I choose to respond to life’s troubles and to other people who annoy me or cause me pain.

For me, it starts with attitude. I always look forward to the start of a new year, but first, I find it very encouraging to pause long enough to count my blessings from the year just ended. Despite so much grief, frustration, and uncertainty everywhere I look, I thank God for all the good exists amid the pain and struggle. I am particularly grateful for the love of my family, a new granddaughter, many good friends, and wonderful colleagues and co-workers. I treasure the many precious Spirit-filled moments I experienced with family, friends, students, and other people that I care about. 

I can easily find many things to complain about, but I choose to name and celebrate all the love and goodness in my life amid the darkness and suffering. That’s my starting place for preparing for a happy new year.

As you look back on 2023, what do you see when you look at your experiences through the eyes of faith and gratitude? For many of you, the year has been full of tears, frustrations, and painful memories. Can you see the blessings, too? 

As I look ahead, I assume that God will continue to be active in my life in loving for good ways. I also accept that I have a part to play in securing my own happiness. But the key here where I’m going to look. As a Christian, I believe that I will find the greatest satisfaction, meaning, peace, and joy in life by living for Christ and prioritizing love of God and neighbor, as Jesus taught us. 

For me, this means asking the right questions and seeking answers that will qualitatively effect how I think and live. For example, what habits do I need to form or strengthen so that I could know, love, and serve God better from day to day? How do I need to structure my prayers, reading, and giving so that I could better support and strengthen my brothers and sisters in Christ? What disciplines do I need to put into place so that I will “not be overcome by evil” so easily, but will be better able to “overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:21)? What changes do I need to make in my calendar, my attitudes, and my interactions, so that I will keep growing as a person, husband, father, grandfather, boss, co-worker, mentor, and friend? Above all, what spiritual practices will help me to keep my eyes on Jesus and to keep listening for the “still, small voice” of the Holy Spirit in every aspect of my life, every day?

What are your hopes, intentions, and prayers for 2024? What is your part in pursuing and securing your own happiness?

No matter what may happen (or not happen), may God work in your life in ways that you can perceive and appreciate. May you get clear about your role in seeking and securing your own happiness. May you see that what you most want and need is God, and that your inner peace and joy depend upon your relationship with Jesus Christ and on staying firmly in the sacred love flow—God’s love to you and for you, and God’s love flowing through you to others.Though we often cannot understand the ways of God, we have the promise in Scripture that God does indeed work all things together “for good for those who love him and are called according to his purposes” (Romans 8:28). Though sometimes we cannot see any good coming from our suffering or the evil deeds of others, this promise reminds us that we’re not alone amidst our struggles and suffering. For me, the thought that God is present and active in my life for good motivates me to order my life, thoughts, and priorities in the best possible ways. And to stay positive and keep going.

May you find the peace, joy, meaning, and strength you are looking for in 2024 by loving God and devoting yourself to serving his good and loving purposes. This is Christ’s pathway to the life you were called to. And this is what I mean when I wish you Happy New Year.

3 Comments

Filed under Hope

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

by | September 29, 2023 · 10:15 am

When God and the Church Let Us Down

I find myself thinking a lot about God and the role religion is supposed to play in the world. And I’m not happy. I wish that God would do more to help those who cry out to him for relief from their suffering. I wish that the Church would do a better job at reflecting the love and light of Christ and stop failing the people so miserably. And I wish I were a better follower of Christ myself and could be less selfish and self-serving. 

But God is who God is. The Church is who she is. And I am who I am. I will never fully understand God. The Church will always be flawed. And I will continue to struggle with my own demons, sin, and shortcomings until the day I die. Nevertheless, I have found this to be true as well: my faith and relationship with God has filled my heart with a peace that surpasses understanding, with joy I could not produce on my own, with love like no other, and with meaning and purpose in a chaotic world that sometimes seems bent on its own destruction. 

There is so much in this world and in myself that I wish were different, and so much more that I would like God to do, but I cannot imagine grappling with life’s challenges without God’s help, guidance, and encouragement. Though I have had to swallow the bitter pill of disillusionment and disappointment with God, religious leaders, and even with myself, my faith keeps evolving and producing hope—only now in more realistic ways. 

I now understand better that Jesus did not come to solve all our problems for us, at least not in this life. Rather, he came to show us the way to God and the way to know, love, and serve God in our daily lives, as we struggle along with the rest of humanity with all that is wrong with our troubled world. The more I let go of what I cannot change and what God chooses not to change, and instead focus on God’s priorities of loving God and neighbor, the more God seems to appear. The more I shift my focus from asking God to fix everything to seeking wisdom, ability, and opportunities to grow through my adversity and to serve others instead of myself, the more I truly believe that we flawed human beings can still make a difference. Living by faith and God’s love is both our calling and our opportunity to “not be overcome by evil,” but to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:9-21).

On my 66th birthday this past week, my loving wife, Jill, gave me a special tour of the beautifully restored south transept of the Chartres Cathedral in France. Among the many splendors were stained glass windows depicting many Old Testament prophets and New Testament Apostles, such as Peter and Paul. I was particularly drawn to the window of Micah (pictured above), who summed up God’s requirements for human beings in the familiar command to “do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God” (Micah 6:8). I was also touched by a window portraying two doctors (pictured below), who were being honored for treating the needy for free and sharing the Gospel with those  who did not know the way of salvation.

Outside, on the south porch is a tall, striking sculpture of Jesus, le Beau Dieu (the Beautiful God). He’s holding the Book of Life and is surrounded by his disciples, almost all of whom gave their lives to share the Gospel and bear witness to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Underneath him is a much smaller sculpture of a wealthy donor, accompanied by two assistants, who are busy distributing bread to the hungry. 

What a perfect combination of images: Prophets and apostles, who teach us about our Creator’s intention for humanity and who show us the way to God. Powerful and privileged members of society, who nonetheless demonstrate their Christian faith by generously serving the needy, at their own expense. Jesus—the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6)— alongside a faithful follower of Jesus, who shows us what faith looks like when those who are blessed with abundance are surrounded by those who lack the basic necessities for living. 

Suddenly the pieces came together for me. It was all there. In the windows and the sculptures, the answer to my broken, anguished heart. Light. Life. Love. Hope. My tears began to flow. Some emotional dam broke. It never felt better to let it all out.

Despite all that is wrong with the world, the Church, and me, and despite all my disillusionment, frustration and disappointment, the message of the Gospel is as relevant today as ever. There are countless individuals who are sacrificially serving others with kindness, compassion, and mercy. The power and presence of God are real. Christ does transform lives. There’s still a way forward for me. 

“Lord, thank you for another year and for the precious gifts from your Holy Spirit this morning. Please hold me close to you especially when I begin to doubt and feel so discouraged. Help me to see and accept the life-giving messages of the prophets and apostles. Help me to keep my eyes on Jesus, my heart open to the needs of those around me, and my hands busy serving others. May your will be done more and more.”

1 Comment

Filed under Faith

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

by | September 14, 2023 · 4:35 pm

Does God Care?

What Jesus’ raising of Lazarus says about God’s heart.

Jesus raising Lazarus in stained glass window (Chartres Cathedral, France)

“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved.”

John 11:33

Normally, the well-known story of Jesus’ raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-43) is told as evidence of the miraculous power of Jesus Christ. It also vividly illustrates the hope of all Christians. God the Father will give eternal life to all those who put their faith in God’s son, Jesus, the promised Messiah and Savior of the world (11:25, 41). All this is true to the biblical story. But there is more.

When we pay attention to the emotion of the story, we can also perceive the heart of God. John tells us that Jesus “loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus” (John 11:5). After Lazarus’s death, when he spoke with Mary and the others who were grieving, he himself was “deeply moved in spirit and was troubled” (11:33). Then, when he saw the tomb of Lazarus, “Jesus began to weep” (11:35). In other words, through Jesus’ emotional response to the tragic death of his friend and the grief of his sisters, we learn how deeply he loved and cared about his friends, despite his decision to delay in traveling to Bethany after he heard the news of Lazarus’s sickness.

Jesus had known that his delay would result in Lazarus’ death. Nevertheless, he deliberately waited, because, as he explained to his disciples, he knew that raising Lazarus from the dead would bring more glory to God and to God’s son than if he rushed to Bethany to save him from dying (11:4). But we should not think that his interest in bringing himself glory came from egoism. No, bringing glory to himself was ultimately for the sake of the people he loved. The greater he was held in their esteem, the more confidence they would have to look to him for eternal salvation. In other words, there was a reason that he delayed in going to save his friend, but it wasn’t because he didn’t care. 

In troubled places like Myanmar (Burma), western Thailand, and Eastern Congo, where I teach and minister, sometimes I hear Christians who sound a lot like Mary and Martha. Why doesn’t God rescue us? Why doesn’t God do more to help us? If Jesus would come quickly, then so many people would not have to suffer and die.

Indeed, there is so much evil in this world that defies explanation for those who believe in a loving, all-powerful God. We know that sometimes we suffer because of the sin of others, who abuse, neglect, or exploit us. Sometimes, we cause our own suffering, because of our ignorance, foolishness, or outright sinful behavior. But, other times, we simply cannot fathom why God allows his children, people God has created and loves, to suffer so horribly and painfully, day after day, year after year. 

Throughout time, humans who believe in God have wrestled with the perplexing problem of evil. If God is both good and all-powerful, why does evil exist? Why does God not intervene to alleviate human suffering and put an end to evil? In the Bible, the Apostle Paul taught that the whole world is under the curse of sin and will not be delivered until Jesus returns, when God will save all those who put their trust in him (Romans 8:22-30). But why did God create a world in which evil even exists, and why doesn’t God do more to rescue his loved ones from their suffering while they wait for Jesus’ return?

Some theologians suggest that the explanation for human suffering lies in God’s decision to give humans freedom. Only those who are truly free can love from their hearts and with their wills. But when we have ability to choose to do good or to do evil, to love or to hate, to care or to harden our hearts in indifference to others, etc., sometimes our choices are going to make things worse.

Other theologians speculate that for some mysterious reason, either due to how God designed the universe or due to the very nature of God, God is powerless to stop the suffering on his own. God cares and is active among us but can only produce positive change in the world in conjunction with the actions of his human creation. In other words, perhaps God cannot stop human suffering unless human beings choose to cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s leading to overcome evil and alleviate one another’s suffering.

We may never be able to solve the problem of evil or explain God’s actions or inaction in face of human suffering, but one thing we can hold on to. The story of the raising of Lazarus illustrates that God does indeed care about his children, despite God’s delay in coming to rescue or save us. Jesus was moved by the grief of Mary of Martha because he loved them. He wept at Lazarus’s tomb, because his heart was broken.

I pray every day for God to deliver the Burmese people from their oppression, to provide for the IDPs and refugees in Myanmar and Thailand, and to bring peace to Eastern Congo. And I agonise over God’s delay and grieve with those who have lost and suffered so much. But one thing I do not do. I do not doubt God’s love. I may not understand God’s ways and delays, but I believe that God cares. I believe that God is grieving with us, and he hears our cries and weeps alongside us. I believe he will continue to supply the love, courage, and strength we need to keep caring for one another. And while I struggle amid so much grief and suffering, I trust that God will not delay forever. Jesus Christ is already with us now by his Spirit, and one day there will be resurrection and eternal life for all those who put their faith in him.

That’s the kind of hope we find in the Bible. Not freedom from all suffering in this life or the promise of a human-created utopian society on earth. But an eternal relationship with a caring God and his crucified son, who lived, died, and was resurrected for us.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Photo Credit: Jill K.H. Geoffrion

1 Comment

Filed under God's Love, Hope, Love

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

by | October 22, 2022 · 3:54 am

Coping Better with Unwanted Change: Four Steps to Greater Peace and Joy (Conclusion)

Conclusion

The four-step restorative process that we have been discussing in successive weeks—See, Accept, Appreciate, and Delight—is simple in theory, but often takes a fair amount of work and patience to move through all the steps fruitfully. Are you seeing progress? If not, go back to the earlier steps, and spend more time thinking, praying, and processing until you feel ready to move forward to the next step.

No matter how much you may still be struggling with one or more steps, the way forward will surely include thinking positively, prayer, and applying your faith in concrete ways. Paul’s teaching to the Philippians speaks directly to this spiritual truth.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice….

Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving,

make your requests known to God.

And the God of peace will fill your hearts and minds

with the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable

—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me,

or seen in me—put it into practice.

And the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:4, 6-9, NIV

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, he was in in prison for his faith, facing the possibility of execution. Yet, amazingly, he was able to be at peace and find joy in the midst of his suffering. He accepted his difficult circumstances and appreciated the opportunities they gave him to serve Christ and the Gospel ministry. He gave his heart to those in whom he delighted, and he laser-focused his mind on all the good and beauty he could see and perceive in the world and in others.

Such positive thinking and faith will not spare any of us from loss, unfair treatment, and suffering. You will struggle with many painful things throughout your life, just as I do every day. Yet, when I focus on what I’ve lost or can’t have or do, I get grumpy or depressed. When I focus on trying to please myself, I may feel happier for a while, but the feeling doesn’t last or doesn’t satisfy. However, when I delight in my relationship with God, in loving my family, friends, and neighbors, in thinking more about what I could give than what I could get, and in all the beauty and goodness in this amazing world, my life is often delight-full. And peace and joy are frequent companions.

In Practice

What step are you ready to take next? See? Accept? Appreciate? Or, Delight?

Find a quiet place where you can sit and breathe deeply for a few minutes. Detach yourself from whatever emotional turmoil you might be feeling and quietly observe yourself. Then, depending on where you are in the restorative process, choose one or more of the following steps to take.

Step 1: Name the unwanted change or loss in your life that is troubling you. Ask God for help by praying, “Loving God, please help me to see what I need to see. Give me courage to face the truth, and wisdom and strength to act on whatever you reveal.” Then, when you feel ready, tell yourself, “I can face this. I will face this. I want to be able to go on with my life.”

Step 2: When you can clearly see the troubling turn of events that you cannot change, take a deep breath, exhale loudly, saying, “The truth[CK2]  is clear. This is the way things are now. It’s not what I wanted, but I can accept it.” Repeat these sentences until you can express them with conviction and power in your voice.

Step 3: When you feel that you’ve let go of most of the emotional charge you’ve been carrying, turn your attention to your blessings and opportunities. Say aloud, “There’s more to my life than what I lost. I’m ready to start counting my blessings and looking for the opportunities that God may give me. I’m ready to move forward with my life.” The first few times you try to say these words, you may choke up or break down in tears. If moving on were easy, you would have done it a long time ago. Don’t give up. Keep saying these words until you believe them and feel your energy start to shift.

Step 4: Give yourself permission to enjoy your life again. Pray, “Loving Creator, please help me to delight in you more than in anyone or anything else. Please enable me to love what you love, to enjoy what you have given me to enjoy and to do, and to order my life by what you most desire.” Then, make a date with yourself. Perhaps it’s as simple as taking a day off or spending time in the garden. Maybe it’s sitting at the piano, singing a song, holding a baby, playing a game, or going for a walk. It’s time to laugh and love.

Bottom Line: Think positively and keep your eyes on your Creator and on Jesus. In life, there will always be so much that you cannot control, and so much suffering that you cannot avoid, but the more you focus your mind on and open your heart to whatever is good, beautiful, admirable, and life-giving, the better. The more you put your anxieties and grief in God’s hands, the sooner you will know the peace that surpasses understanding and the joy your heart longs for.

Suggested Prayer

“Loving God, I want to experience greater peace and joy, and I want to be the kind of person who brings more peace, joy, and love into the lives of others. Please draw me closer to you and lead me out of all those places where I feel stuck emotionally. Help me to see, accept, appreciate, and delight more and more in you and all the good you have for me to experience and to do. Thank you. In Christ’s name, I pray. Amen.”

/

Leave a comment

Filed under Coping Better with Unwanted Change

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

by | October 2, 2022 · 7:00 pm

Coping Better with Unwanted Change: Four Steps to Greater Peace and Joy (Step 4)

We’ve been talking about a four-step restorative process to help you cope better with unwanted change or loss in your life. Once you can see and accept what you’ve lost or cannot change (Steps 1-2) and have started to appreciate your remaining blessings and opportunities (Step 3), you will experience more peace and joy. But there’s still another step.

Hiking through the Swiss Alps

Step 4: “Delight”

Trust in the LORD and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Take delight in the LORD,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:3-4 (NIV)

What do you take delight in? What are the desires of your heart?

For me, I love my birthday, which I just celebrated last week. As usual, I took the day off from work to do whatever I felt like doing, all day long. I went out for breakfast, spent hours interacting with well-wishers on Facebook, reflected on my life and future, read something I was very interested in, celebrated with my family, and, of course, ate ice cream!

But birthday delights, holidays, Friday night dates, lazy Sunday afternoons, and other special times are the spice of life for me, not the main course. In the right measure, the little (or big) treats in life bring me a lot of joy. Too much of them, and they lose their specialness. If I try to take too much from them, they can become like idols—alluring and wonderfully distracting from weights and responsibilities, but lacking sufficient nutrition for my psychological, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. If my delights become addictions, they become my masters and can even slowly destroy my life or the lives of others.

From Scripture, we learn that God gave us many wonderful things in nature, in our beloved relationships, in our vocations, and in many other aspects of our lives. They are God’s gifts to us, and key ingredients to living fully and joyfully. God wants us to delight in them, providing that our greatest love is for our Creator God. If we keep this relationship first in our hearts, then then rest of our desires, delights, and loves will fall into their proper places, in the right proportions.

When I was teenager, I thought that these verses in Psalm 37 meant that if you put God first in your life (“delight in the LORD”), then God would give you whatever you most want (“the desires of your heart”)—perhaps a lovely spouse, riches, property, good friends, fun experiences, etc. etc. But one day it dawned on me that there may be a more profound way to view this promise. Instead of interpreting these verses as describing something transactional (if you do this, then God will do that), the process may actually be transformational (if you do this, then your heart and mind will be changed, leading to an entirely new set of desired outcomes).

When the Psalmist says, “delight in the LORD,” he is not talking about saying or doing something just to try to win God’s favor to get something from God. Rather, he’s saying, genuinely take pleasure in your relationship with God, just as Jesus taught us to do when he said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:37). Then, the more your heart’s desire is genuinely to know, love, and serve God with all your being, the more you will want what God wants for you, i.e., to live righteously (or justly) and to do good, or in Jesus’ words, to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:38). Delighting in your Creator God leads to delighting in fulfilling God’s good purposes for your life. And when you think and feel this way, the greatest joy and privilege God could ever give you would be to enable you to know, love, and serve God even better, and to receive more opportunities to let God love others through you.

For me, delighting in God includes taking time to appreciate all that God has done in creation and in my life. As a minister and professor, it also translates to spending most days happily teaching, researching, writing, coaching, praying for or with others, mentoring, and trying to help or encourage those who cross my path. As a married man with children, delighting in God and God’s calling on my life also means loving my wife and family as best I can.

I’m deeply grateful for the life that God has given me and for the ways Christ has inspired and called me to worship, serve, and love. Even with all the suffering, loss, and difficulties I and my family have had to endure over the years, putting God and Christ at the center of my heart and priorities has given me great meaning, purpose, peace, and joy, which I could not have found in the same way otherwise.

For you, delighting in God first may look different than it does for me, because you have your own relationship with God and Christ, and unique calling. But the spiritual principle is true for all those who can accept it, and the result of ordering your life in this way (greater peace and joy) will be the same: When you choose to delight in God and let God transform your heart’s desires to match God’s desires, God will surely give you the desires of your heart.

In Practice

By now, you should be experiencing the fruit of working through the first three steps: See, Accept, and Appreciate. But don’t stop there. Make a conscious decision to move toward finding and doing more things that delight you. And start with God.

If you’re ready to take the fourth step, reflect on the following questions.

  • Where are you looking for pleasure, peace, and joy from day to day?
  • How well does what you delight in line up with what God wants you to delight in?
  • What would it look like for you if you delighted more in God and God’s good purposes for your life?
  • If your heart’s desire matched God’s desire for you more closely, how would you order your life differently? What would you be praying for?

Bottom line: You can make a lot of progress toward greater peace and joy in your life by seeing, accepting, and appreciating. But the most important step of them all is Step 4: “Delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Suggested prayer: “Loving God, I want what you want for me and my life. Please teach me to delight in you, and transform the desires of my heart to match yours.”

Next week: The conclusion to this series of articles with more practical suggestions for how to move through the four steps to greater peace and joy in your life

1 Comment

Filed under Coping Better with Unwanted Change

Tagged as , , , , , ,

by | July 6, 2022 · 3:53 pm

Look Up for Hope

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

from where will my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

The LORD will not let your foot be moved…

The LORD will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in

from this time on and forevermore.

From Psalm 121

These are amazing words of inspiration and hope, but are they true? What does such faith mean for those who are traumatized and brutalized by others, such as the people of Myanmar, where thousands of people have had to flee for their lives into the jungle since the political upheaval began in 2021? How does the psalmist’s confidence apply to those whose homes have been burned to the ground? What sense do these assurances make to the families of those who have been beaten, tortured, or killed?

For years I struggled with such broad promises of the LORD’s protection and help in the face of so much exploitation and abuse of the vulnerable around the world. To trust in God’s deliverance sometimes seems ridiculous when so many suffer and die at the hands of evil doers. I’ve heard many testimonies of people who have experienced God’s miraculous help, yet other people of faith are never rescued by God.

At the same time, in spite of gut-wrenching experiences and unanswered questions, my faith in God has been indispensable and life-giving to me. God’s unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness have provided a powerful source of self-acceptance and daily hope. Jesus Christ’s resurrection gives me hope that someday there will be justice, if not in this life then in the next. God’s presence in my life motivates me to become the kind of man God wants me to be for my family and for my community. My experience of God’s love and grace fills me with more compassion and mercy for those who are weak and vulnerable, people who need to experience the light of Jesus Christ and the love of God through a fellow human being. Even though I can’t fully understand why God allows so many to suffer so horribly, I am deeply grateful for all that God has done in my life and in the lives of so many other people who have similarly reached out to God and put their faith In Jesus.

So how should we interpret assurances of God’s help and deliverance like we find in Psalm 121? Was every Israelite saved from evil, as the Psalmist declared? Certainly not. But the Hebrew writer was not a fool. He knew that even those with great faith in the LORD sometimes fall victim to evil and injustice. Everyone suffers in some way, and some day, each of us will die, no matter how many times we might be saved from a premature demise.

Yet, the psalmist is not offering words that are out of touch with reality, but ones that offer hope in the midst of our suffering. He provides guidance not so that we can live in denial or flee into fantasy, but so that we might find spiritual resources to face and cope with whatever is overwhelming us. He speaks in hyperbole and metaphor to inspire the people to lift their eyes from focusing on their troubles so that they might see what God sees and reach out for what only God can provide.

I cannot prove to you that God cares, and I cannot make sense of the gross disparities in the world and all the senseless violence and heart-breaking tragedies. Yet, I do know that hope and strength do not come from denial, fear or faithlessness. We will not be stronger or better by allowing ourselves to be swallowed up by cynicism, hatred, or vengefulness. If we focus on evil, we will be consumed by it.

If, instead, we focus on God, we will find the perspective and strength we need to face and overcome it. If you let go of questions about the prevalence of evil that no one can answer, and if you drop your resistance to that inner voice that is calling you to put your faith in your Creator and in Jesus Christ, you will find relief, acceptance, forgiveness, inner peace, and hope as never before. This kind of hope cannot be extinguished even in death. And the love that comes from God is more valuable, enduring, and powerful than anything else in all creation, for it is not based on your own accomplishment or worthiness, but on the character and power of God.

So, brothers and sisters in Christ, lift your eyes to gaze on the beauty and majesty of creation and of your Creator. “The LORD who made heaven and earth” has done amazing things in nature and for people of faith from the beginning of time. Lift your eyes to Jesus Christ to contemplate God’s character and intention to save you from yourself and from all those forces within you and in the world that you cannot overcome in your own strength, including death itself. Choose to trust that your Creator loves you and is active in your life for good. Lift your eyes up to your Redeemer–not necessarily to rescue you from all your troubles, but to provide strength to keep your head high, to follow Jesus Christ confidently, to serve God’s purposes faithfully, and to continue to reflect God’s light and love in the midst of so much darkness, hatred, and evil.

He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.  Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? …

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:32-39, NRSV

Leave a comment

Filed under Hope

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

by | March 15, 2022 · 2:15 pm

No Easy Answers in a War Zone

Only Faith, Hope, and Love

HEAL Africa Doctors meeting for Bible Study in war-torn Eastern Congo

How can you answer troubling questions about God that have no easy answers? How can you talk about God’s love to traumatized people in a war zone, when God seems so distant and disengaged from their suffering? During my weekly Bible study that I conduct for a group of 20-30 doctors (pictured below) in Goma, Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), I’m often asked, “What should we say to our patients, whose family, friends, or neighbors have been driven from their homes or brutally murdered?” In Eastern Congo, some six million people have died due to violence, starvation, and disease over the past 25 years. Their nightmare has raised earnest questions about God that are difficult to answer, such as, “Does God care?” and “Why didn’t God protect us?”  

Meanwhile, in Europe, Russian troops are wreaking havoc across Ukraine, thousands are being injured or killed, and over three million people have been forced to flee the country in a matter of a few weeks so far. In Asia, as you well know, the crisis in Myanmar continues unabated and the suffering keeps multiplying. Everywhere there is great suffering from injustice and violence, the same kinds of questions keep arising among Christians. Even my Burmeses theological students want to know, “Are we suffering because God is punishing us?” “Is God ignoring us?” “Should we expect any help from God?”

Homes burn Loikaw Township, Kayah State, Myanmar, following Junta airstrikes, 2_23_22 PC_Free Burma Rangers

In my role as seminary professor and Bible teacher in Africa, Eastern Europe, and Southeast Asia over the past 15 years, I’ve been asked these kinds of questions repeatedly by people who are being traumatized by genocide, war, or oppression. However, rather than try to make up answers to unanswerable questions or offer up false hope, it’s been far more helpful to admit the limitations of human understanding about God and to focus practically and realistically on how we know that God works in the midst of great evil.

As I have struggled with my own understanding of what to expect from God, I have longed ceased to put my hope in God’s sudden appearance out of nowhere to save the people. I’d be delighted for any miraculous intervention God may choose to make, and I pray for God’s help and deliverance daily. But most of my hope rests on how God works in, among, and through those who know, love, and serve Jesus Christ.

I have never had a vision of Jesus, but I see Jesus in his body of believers all the time—in their compassionate acts of kindness, self-sacrificial service, hospitality, and generosity. They are riddled with all sorts of imperfections and failings, yet they treasure their relationship with God. They keep drawing from the well of God’s love and grace for light and life in the midst of their darkness. They love Jesus, and they genuinely want to share Jesus’ love with others. And do so, sometimes even at great personal cost.

It’s been inspiring to me to see the outpouring of support for those who are suffering in all the places where I serve— including, Ukraine, Myanmar, and the Congo—both from faithful followers of Christ within the countries and from a wide variety of caring people internationally. This is surely part of God’s plan to minister to those who call upon the name of the Lord in their distress.

There are no easy answers to the cries and confusion of people in a war zone. Nevertheless, when we, as the body of Christ, fulfill our purpose to be the heart, voice, hands, and feet of Jesus, the world will know that there is a God who cares. The power, presence, and love of God will be evident for others to experience through us. And we who serve in Jesus’ name will be less overwhelmed by the evil all around us, because our eyes will be focused more on what we can do and less on what we can’t; on what God is doing through us, and not on just on what we hope and pray that God will do for us.  

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Leave a comment

Filed under Faith, Hope, Love

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

by | October 25, 2021 · 6:20 am

Hope for Hopeless Times

Are you the victim of mistreatment and unjust oppression? Are you feeling hopeless? Are you wondering why God is allowing you to suffer so unfairly?

In this 29 minute presentation, in English with Burmese subtitles and photos from the present Myanmar context, I address the following four questions.

1. “Why us?”

2. “Why is God so silent?”

3. “Where can we find God?”

4. “What hope is there?”

When we suffer unjustly, we all want deliverance from our suffering. But when God does not spare us, we often want answers to questions like these. Now, some of these questions cannot be fully answered, given our limited ability to understand the will and ways of God. However, at the same time, the Bible has a lot to say about each one, and the experience of millions of followers of Christ shows that there truly is hope for those who live in seemingly hopeless circumstances. The key is to understand what kind of hope is available to us when there seems no way to stop those who are mistreating us or to escape our painful situation.

Coping with oppression and trauma is complicated and often requires therapy, pastoral counseling, and/or a lot of help from others. In this video, I do not try to address all of these issues comprehensively, but rather focus on the great spiritual resources that believers have in Jesus Christ and in the ongoing presence and power of the Holy Spirit. The more you learn how to draw on the Spirit’s support and encouragement, they more you will experience inner peace, inspiration, and hope to enable you to face whatever you must face in this life with greater strength and hope. Never do I suggest that suffering from mistreatment or oppression is easy, but I do know how much help comes from leaning on the Lord Jesus Christ at such times.

The original context for this video was a special talk for faculty and theological students at the Myanmar Institute of Theology, in Yangon, Myanmar. I welcome your comments and questions, as this is a topic for ongoing reflection, prayer, and discussion for the people in Myanmar and for all those who suffer unjustly.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , ,